I suppose the reason we don't hear about people constantly trying to take over the world is that it's a lot harder than it looks.

1. Military force is a lot of work and the odds aren't great.

2. Making lots of money isn't enough if people don't like you.

3. Oprah seems to have cornered the market on being, wealthy, powerful, and well-liked.

I'm trying to study Oprah's success so that I can replicate it. Everybody knows who she is. Lots of people like and respect her. Any product that she recommends just flies off the shelves. Her word is gospel to a lot of people.

Unfortunately for me, her formula for success seems to include an innate likeability and empathy for others. I don't have the patience to fake that.

It's so frustrating, though. If I had Oprah's influence, I could guide huge portions of the public without the hassles of elections or conquest. My cult of personality would take on its own momentum. It could be glorious!

Sigh.

There's only one thing to do now.